I have been struggling the last couple of months. A few of my friends that are close to my age have been going through something also. I do not know if this is a common thing in your late fifties for women, but it is where I have been for a few weeks.

I then realized that it is more than what I thought. My oldest sister died five and a half years ago from ovarian cancer. She was one month shy of turning 58. I realized this weekend that I will be 58 in a couple of weeks. I think for me I have been trying to wrap my head around the fact that she died at my age.

With that said, I realized I need to snap out of it. I owe it to my beloved sister to enjoy my life and all the blessings I have been given. She was full of life, a wonderful sister, and the best aunt to my two children. They adored her. She was so much fun to be around and do life with.

For me, I have a birthday approaching. It is not a number that people consider a milestone. It is simply 58. There will be no black balloons when I come to work. Yes this did happen when I turned 50. There will be no celebratory drink on a 21st birthday. Side note: I am really not a drinker so that means nothing to me. It is just 58. Fifty-eight years of getting to exist and being part of this world.

Will things change with this upcoming birthday, not really. I will still continue doing what I am doing today. My body will be another year older and that is okay. I do exercise and I am always striving to eat nutritious foods to feed my body and soul. I will have a birthday cake because I love birthday cake. My daughter has figured that out and usually has someone she knows make me a delicious white cake with white icing. I have never really liked too much chocolate so sometimes she wonders if we are related. Just kidding, she looks quite a bit like me so she can’t deny it.

So as my birthday approaches I am going to be grateful. I will always remember my sister lovingly and thankful for getting to have her in my life for a half century. I will spend time with my family and friends. I will strive to be a good person and just rejoice in the fact that I get to live this life another year. I will also eat cake!

Always Grateful,

Pammye

January 23, 2023