When I look back at the fourteen years as a single parent, I don’t think about perfection. I think about love, effort, and consistency. I had to show up each and every day.

I made sure I was always up and dressed before the kids got out of bed. Every morning started me ready for whatever the day would bring. I made dinner every night. I always made time to cook dinner. It was important to me. Even today when my kids come to visit, they like to sit down and share a nice dinner with me. No matter how tired I was.

After working full time, that was one thing I held onto—cooking a nice meal and creating some sense of normal. At first, I tried to keep the house up. It became too much for me, especially the yard. The truth is… it was too much. I was doing everything I could, and something had to give. So, I decided to sell it. We downsized to a little under 1,400 square feet. It was more manageable with a much smaller yard. And suddenly, life felt less overwhelmed. That house became a very nice home. We got a dog and later added another one. There was laughter, chaos, love, and comfort once again in our lives.

I always worked full time. Every Thursday, plus every other weekend, my daughter and son went to their dad’s. This was my time to recharge and get everything ready for a  new week. We were divorced, but we were always their parents. We got along around our children, and we still do. We sat together at their games, band concerts, school events… Milestones. If there was tension between us, we put it aside when our children were around. No sides, we had to have each other’s backs. Just their dad and I showing up.

My daughter still tells me how unusual that was. She says so many of her friends’ parents couldn’t do that. They couldn’t put their differences aside for their children. You must put your kids first in those moments. I am proud of us for that. It wasn’t always easy, but it mattered. We decided to bring two beautiful children into the world and they deserved for us to be present in their lives.

Single parenting isn’t about doing everything perfectly. It’s about making the best decisions you can with what you have. It is about love, sacrifice, and choosing your children—over and over again. If you’re a single parent reading this—I see you. What you’re doing matters more than you know. Put the effort in because the rewards are amazing. In my case, I have two children that know their parents love them and continue to love them.