When Friendship Lifts You Up Instead of Pulling You Down

Have you ever shared something you were truly excited about—only to have someone immediately pour cold water on it?

It’s almost predictable.

You decide to get serious about saving money, and suddenly someone wants to go out to dinner.
You commit to cutting back on sugar, and the next invitation is for ice cream.

It makes you wonder… are they listening? Or are they quietly rooting against you?

Let’s be honest—no one enjoys being around a Debbie Downer. And no one appreciates feeling sabotaged.

Support Shouldn’t Feel Like a Struggle

Friendship isn’t complicated, but it does require intention.

If I tell you I’m trying to watch my spending, support might look like suggesting a walk in the park instead of dinner out.
If I say I’m cutting desserts, maybe suggest tea instead of cake.

It’s not about perfection. It’s about consideration.

Friends shouldn’t try to pull each other backward. They should cheer each other forward.

Otherwise, we have to ask the hard question: Is this really a friendship—or just a habit?

Friendship Is a Two-Way Street

Over the years, I’ve learned that real friendship requires balance. It can’t always be about one person’s preferences, interests, or convenience.

I’m not interested in relationships where only one door opens.

If we always do what you want to do, if my goals are dismissed or minimized, if my ideas never make the list—something is off.

Friendship is a two-way street. The door opens and closes both ways.

And sometimes, growth means gently closing a door that no longer leads anywhere healthy.

The Beauty of Friendship in Your Sixties

Now that I’m in my sixties, the friendships I have are deeply meaningful.

Some of these women have known me since I was young. Others have come into my life in more recent years. Time doesn’t define the depth—consistency does.

These are the friends who have my back.
The friends who respect my boundaries.
The friends who can go months without seeing me—and when we finally sit down together, it feels like no time has passed at all.

That’s real friendship.

It’s supportive.
It’s mutual.
It’s steady.

And it certainly doesn’t come with negative vibes.

Final Thought

Life is too short—especially at this stage of it—to surround yourself with people who drain your energy or quietly undermine your goals.

Choose friends who celebrate your growth.
Choose friends who listen.
Choose friends who clap when you win—even if your win looks different from theirs.

And if someone keeps trying to stand in your way?

Smile kindly… and keep moving forward.