Reflections From 61: Lessons I’d Tell My Younger Self

Time. It’s a relentless river, flowing always forward, carrying us further away from our pasts. There’s no way to stop its current, and no way to swim upstream to fix mistakes. At 61, looking back over that long river, I can’t help but think about the advice I would whisper to my younger self if I only had the chance.

The perspective from this side of life is so different, so much clearer in hindsight. While I cannot go back and rewrite my story, sharing these reflections might help someone still navigating the turbulent waters of youth. So, if I could sit down with that younger version of me, here are a few things I would tell her, with all the wisdom I have now.

Stop Worrying About What Others Think

I spent far too much time and energy consumed by anxiety over other people’s opinions. What did they think of my choices? My appearance? My career path? Looking back now, that worry feels incredibly insignificant. As you get older, you realize just how little those outside opinions truly matter.

What actually matters is simple: How are you living your life? Are you genuinely happy? Are you taking care of the people around you? Are you investing your time with family and friends? The answer to these questions is far more vital than the judgment of anyone else. Focus on building a life that feels authentic and fulfilling to you.

Work Hard, But Know It Isn’t Everything

Building a career is important. It provides your livelihood, a sense of accomplishment, and allows you to support yourself and your loved ones. But work should never be the absolute center of your universe. When you find yourself nearing retirement age, you will desperately need a life that exists outside of your job description.

Start cultivating outside interests, hobbies, and passions that truly excite you. Nurture the relationships you want to still have in your life decades down the line. Working on those bonds with family and friends is infinitely more important than clocking an extra few hours at the office. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not the extra hours worked you’ll remember—it’s the time spent with the people you care about.

Choose Presence Over Perfection (The Dishes Can Wait)

I used to obsess over chores. Everything had to be just so. If I could go back, I would tell myself to just… stop. The dishes will still be there later. You don’t have to mop the floor this very second. The laundry can wait a couple of hours.

Instead of prioritizing a clean house, prioritize being present for the people in your life, especially young children. You cannot get that time back. Your children grow up so fast, and once those moments are gone, they are truly gone forever. Walk away from the sink full of dishes and build a fort. Read one more story. There will be plenty of time to clean when they are asleep. When you look back later, you will want to know that you spent that precious time with the people who mattered most.

Invest in Your Health Today for a Stronger Tomorrow

If I could drill one single lesson into my younger self, it would be this: prioritize your nutrition and exercise now. Taking care of your health is crucial, especially as you age, and if you have established healthy habits throughout your life, it makes maintaining your well-being so much easier down the road.

At 61, I am incredibly grateful to take no medications—a fortune I do not take lightly, as I see so many friends struggling with their health. We cannot control everything that happens to us, but we can control how we nourish our bodies and how much we move. Find an activity you genuinely enjoy, something that makes you feel strong and alive, and make it a consistent part of your life. Nobody on their deathbed ever says, “I wish I spent more time at the office.” But they will certainly reflect, with deep gratitude or deep regret, on how well they cared for the only body they were given.

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Looking back on this life, I would simply tell myself: use your time wisely. Be present. Love deeply. And take good care of yourself. Go to work, yes, but when the day is done, make time to play and enjoy the incredible beauty of the life you are building.